Re: deadbeat dad article

What he writes about is what I have heard about from what feels like a zillion men. The legal system is tipped too far towards wives and mothers. That seems a ludicrous statement, yet it is simply true. The too-far-tipping is discouraging men from marriage – and is thus depressing both the birth rate, and the number of children who live in homes with both mothers and fathers. Therefore, the too-far-tipping-towards-women-and-mothers is actually working against the interests of women and mothers. If women were wiser, they would be speaking out about adjusting the system slightly back towards the interests of men and fathers.

I have one son: a sophomore in college who majors in music composition. I have never lived with him or his mother. Yet, she has been extremely accomodating to me, and we have worked out child-rearing arrangements where I have been extremely involved in his life. We never went through the courts, and to this day have no legal agreement amongst ourselves. I voluntarily paid child support, except for two periods when I was broke. During those periods I was a “deadbeat Dad”. On the positive side, my by-the-state-law legal responsibilities to my son ended over two years ago, yet I continue to solidly contribute to his university expenses.

And my point in all this is, I guess, that life is rocky and uneven. There was one point, especially, when my son’s Mom could have, had she wanted, had me arrested for lack of financial support. It would’ve been ludicrous, given all our history together, yet … by the absolute letter of the law, I’m quite confident it would’ve been her right. And she was suffering financially, also, during this period. Fortunately, she looked at the big picture, and she knew things would rebound. But I’m glad, during times when she owed money she could not repay, that she didn’t have a lawyer whispering in her ear about my trangressions, and thus stoking her anger at me.