Is suicide a rational response to life’s difficulties?

By alice | February 11, 2010

At what point does suicide become a reasonable response to unbearable emotional or psychological anguish?

Talented, intelligent, successful friends Isabella Blow and Alexander McQueen both did it, a few years apart.

McQueen’s last fashion show was inspired by the wonders of evolution, and “evolution” has come, for many though not all, to mean “the scientific refutation of the religious worldview”. I just read Meghan O’Rourke’s New Yorker article Good Grief: Is there a better way to be bereaved? about how people deal with loss, which concludes with this quote from Emily Dickinson poem about observing bereaved people:

I wonder if it hurts to live—
And if They have to try—
And whether—could They choose between—
It would not be—to die.

O’Rourke’s article discusses the modern Western idea of grieving as a sort of mental personal growth process, and her conclusion is that this approach is perhaps a way to deny death, by turning it into a useful part of life. Which begs the question of whether it might not be more rational, when confronted by the reality of death, to decide if you can’t beat it, then you may as well join it instead?

And then there is Penelope Trunk’s piece today, arguing that real life is mostly not about redemption but ongoing struggle:

Why don’t more people kill themselves? Life is very hard. And there is no sane reason to believe it will, at some point, get easier. So why do we keep going? I don’t know. This fascinates me.

I can’t find a really strong argument that life is about redemption. I happen to believe it, but my arguments are spiritual, not rational. (And I’m glad to believe it- on a practical basis, that’s the kind of belief that helps you get through real life problems! But I can’t persuade you of that, if you’re looking for a rational argument. Whole other paradigm-set.)

Traditional Christian teaching was that suicide was a sin. From compassion towards people who feel so awful that they want to die, we now generally regard that kind of judgement as a bit inhuman. We don’t bury people who took their own life in unconsecrated ground with minimal shameful ceremony anymore.

But various religious schools still teach that killing oneself is wrong and to be avoided, because life is a gift from God; and people are still very open to being socialised by religious schools. Of course, they may have a worse time living in grief and mortal fear for their souls, than they would have had by ending it all sooner: I am not saying here that religious schools are right even if any of them do prevent suicides.

However, once you remove the moral objection to suicide, what cultural imperative is there for people to struggle through extreme emotional pain, or extreme physical illness, by the same token? Is “life” itself really so great that wanting it at pretty much any cost is really, truly rational- or are we dependent on our animal survival impulse to keep us going? And isn’t that animal impulse a rather egotistical thing, for a species with consciousness of the relative insignificance of the individual- rationally speaking, anyway?

4 Comments »

4 Responses to “Is suicide a rational response to life’s difficulties?”

RoundSparrow Says:
February 11th, 2010 at 8:10 pm

you want a bunch of rational people considering it on a daily basis? http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch

It can seem rational. My answer is that the traditional religions you cite aren’t rational, and nor is life.

Not knowing everything is the JOY of life. It is the truth that you can’t know it all… and anyone can prove it easily. Pull out 500 books and ask someone to recite every word. Ask someone to draw a map of every and in the USA. there is no such thing as PERFECTIOn and TOTAL KNOWLEDGE.

Are brains are tiny, our rational is tiny, compared to the real world. we only shrink it through denial and self delusion. To face it is to be brave. Brave doesn’t require God, it requires you!

To live is to be brave.

Shefaly Says:
February 12th, 2010 at 11:02 am

I think disproportionate responses to grief and difficulty arise in no small measure from the constant exhortations around us to seek “happiness” and “perfection”. Where did that come from?

Our unhappiness is often a result of our expectations of self (usually with no or little ability to judge our own capabilities), and comparisons with others whom we deem peers or inferior to us but who seem to have more or be happier.

The expectation of happiness, perfection, gliding ease etc often collides with reality which is that life is hard. Yet rarely is suicide well-considered. The planning might be, the act rarely is. Most people who survive suicide will tell you that they regret their momentary weakness, and are happy to be alive. They also ironically get the attention they should have got earlier through the drastic step, albeit a failed one.

The rational response to life’s difficulties is to accept them and then optimise without any outre expectations of miracles. As RoundSparrow says: to live is to be brave. End of.

alice Says:
February 12th, 2010 at 11:48 am

Interesting. Is life just fundamentally non-rational, or is it rational to accept life’s difficulties even if they are overwhelmingly painful with no end in sight? I’m going to keep pondering both of those.

Katie Says:
February 12th, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Which is the more powerful thought when contemplating suicide? The harshness of life itself? or the fear on non/life?