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lessons from the Duggars

Tuesday, November 25th, 2008

I’ve been somewhat fascinated by several episodes of the TV series about Christian homeschooling family the Duggars, 17 Kids and Counting. Whether or not you are already into megafamilies, DIY education, charismatic religion or very long hairstyles, I think there are lessons to be learned about what makes people happy from this show (assuming [...]

thought #3: dynasty-building

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008

We live in an individualist society. Lots of us don’t even like, still less spend much time creating things closely with our parents/ extended family. Others just feel a need to strike out on their own then stay there. The Family Business sounds like an out-dated, unwanted tyranny: or maybe a mafia clan, built on [...]

money first, then art?

Friday, October 17th, 2008

Seth Godin’s post, maybe you can’t make money doing what you love, adds to a longstanding cultural debate about whether you can or should try to do “what you love” for a job. There is a Boomer idea that yes you can and should, sometimes that success can be defined by so doing, which Penelope [...]

fear of rejection

Monday, July 7th, 2008

I commented on Penelope Trunk’s great post here about the downside of shared care (both parents working and doing childcare part-time).
The fact is, any combination of parenting and work is going to involve some kind of sacrifice compared to your liberated no-kids-yet existence. It’s even quite easy to figure out the choices- just pick [...]

forget social convention, follow your star

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

The social self isn’t opposed to you reaching your North Star per se; it just won’t allow you to proceed until you get Everybody’s permission. Actually, the social self would prefer that you don’t do anything, anything at all, until Everybody kneels down and begs you to do it.
Martha Beck, Finding your own North Star
This [...]

“When you are doing the work you are meant to do, it feels right.”

Monday, June 16th, 2008

That’s not me, it’s Oprah, in her Stanford speech. It’s that time of year when American students line up in gowns collecting degrees to a hundred verses of the school orchestra playing Land of Hope and Glory, which is about England so don’t ask me why that is (perhaps you know) (Elgar’s Pomp and Circumstance [...]

Heloise’s kitchen hints, musing about women & family

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

Before putting food in the freezer, put it inside nylon stockings so the bags don’t freeze together. Make a canister set by spraying your collection of large coffee cans. When waxing your floors, also wax the feet of your furniture. Use old washing-machine water for mopping your floor.
Not sure how useful all those tips [...]

questions about full-time fathers

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

Penelope Trunk asks:
Is being a stay-at-home dad any different than the life that Betty Friedan and Sylvia Plath worked so hard to get away from?
Yes, because it’s chosen. A man who doesn’t enjoy it can and almost certainly should give it up.
Is the world really ready for stay-at-home dads? Will the world ever be [...]

what happens when you combine work and parenting: reality

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

Update: after shopping today, decided I am being too nice below about the kind of parents who regard themselves as superstars simply for parenting at all alongside any career. You see these people all the time in the bathrooms of expensive supermarkets, pretending to boss their kids around while the kids totally ignore them and [...]

the difficulties of growing up

Friday, March 21st, 2008

I’m 40, and 40 is the new 95, so you can forgive me for not quite getting this: Twentysomething Life is Hard: Don’t Blame Corporate America.
Why is twentysomething life hard, and what is the transition Ryan is talking about? People have often said growing up is hard, but as one who has always been [...]

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